Life Saving Information

When I see a scientist from Europe on a documentary talking about some new discovery based on decades of research that I should put into place immediately to save my life, but the details are all presented in metric measurements, I figure, “Oh well, no way I can extrapolate this shit.  Guess I’ll carry on with my normal sketchy lifestyle and just hope for the best.”

You Want To See My What?

Whether you consider it pretentious or not, on job applications “CV” is sometimes a replacement for the word resume.  CV in this case stands for Curriculum Vitae, which is Latin for “course of one’s life”.  CV is also an abbreviation for cardiovascular.  If an employer asks you for your CV, you may want to clarify whether he wants your resume, or the account of the "course of your life”, which let’s face it, could be messy, or your cardiovascular record.  Posting for a friend (me).

Blame The Pilgrims

Really cool Halloween decorations looks so lame November first, but people leave them up because there are really no good Thanksgiving decorations.  People put up corn stalks and Indian corn and cornucopia displays at the end of September, but it’s mostly because it’s too early for skeletons and zombies; it has nothing to do with Thanksgiving and feels desperate, then.  And so then the world is decorated orange and yellow and brown for a few months, with funny turkey pictures slipped in in mid-November but it’s just seemingly pointless, meaningless.  I know that this will be controversial, but I blame the Pilgrims.  I know that public relations were not a primary consideration back then, but what were they thinking with the big buckles and stupid hats and knickers and big-ass barreled blunderbusses?  They created the least sexy image for anyone to recreate with decorations.  And to be honest, they mostly did without, and sacrificed, and froze and starved, even though the native Americans showed them really good ways to not freeze and starve.  So now here we are, like five hundred years later or whatever, and how can you decorate your house with freakin’ starved and frozen Pilgrims (except by maybe leaving the skeletons up)?  So anyway, yeah, when you’re tired of the corn (which the Pilgrims also stole from the Indians) decorations, go ahead and put up your Christmas trees and lights.  What the hell, I give up.  Happy Thanksgiving and No ‘el, everyone.