·
The road crew man with the big orange
<SLOW> sign pointed my way was at the same time making a hurried circular
“COME ON THROUGH” motion with his other hand and a rather dour expression on
his face. Confused at what I thought was
a contradiction of directions, I considered stopping to ask him to clarify for
me which he wanted, but thought better of it, and so I passed him feeling
rather bad that I’d somehow let him down.
·
I hope that, in 2018 or whenever, when we pull
out of what will hopefully be a nearly stabilized Syria (except for our
residual limited, strategic and surgical financial and troop ground support for
miscellaneous and still largely unidentified warring factions with dubious
sponsors), President Weiner, or whoever, will finally and decisively address
the Hatfield and McCoy thing. No one can
argue that the McCoys are the aggressors there, or the Hatfields are, or
whatever. Anyway, somebody’s hillbilly ass
needs to be bombed.
·
I have this wild pet rabbit who l let roam my
neighborhood. We have a reciprocal
relationship; I throw him oyster crackers and he leaves me raisinettes. I named him Scat, and trained him to run away
when I call to him, which I think is pretty cool. So anyway, if you live near me, and see a
rabbit in your yard, yell “Scat!”. If it
runs away, and you find raisinettes (or uneaten oyster crackers) where he was
standing, yep, that’d be my rabbit.
·
I saw previews on the news that they were going
to feature Mishka the talking Huskie. They
said that the dog was amazing, and could say “I Love You” to her owner on command.
Apparently this lady takes Mishka all over the place performing this
incredible act. When they got to the
segment with Mishka and her owner, it took a couple of warm ups where the dog
kind of howled something like “ay yah-yah”, but then it was clear that Mishka
was actually saying “I Loathe You”. I
guess Mishka is getting tired of the grind.
I felt badly for the owner at first, but you gotta be careful how you
treat a talking dog, especially one who gets air time on the news.
In a sort of related story………….
·
I read an article about the old TV show Mr. Ed,
which was about a horse that could talk.
I remember the show being kind of funny.
(I purposefully am leaving out the hilarious pun where I call the show a
“one trick pony”.) The article said that
in order to make the horse look like it was talking, the animal trainer smeared
peanut butter inside his mouth. Animal
rights folks probably wouldn’t stand for this anymore, especially with so many
concerns about peanut allergies, but back then producers could have saved
a bunch of special effects money and
actors’ salaries by just showing the horse trying to deal with peanut butter in
his mouth for 30 minutes each week without the silly premise that he could talk
and wear sunglasses. They could have called the show “Hey, look at
that freakin’ horse! He’s got peanut
butter in his mouth! That's hilarious!”
