Sir What?

I heard a guy excitedly refer to a steak he bought as a “sirLOIN”.  By his putting the emPHAsis on the wrong sylLAble (and thus making the name of the cut of meat sound comically regal as a bonus), I couldn’t be sure whether he was an idiot or pretentious or both. 

Greetings from Awkwardville

Them:     Hi.

Me:        Hi, how are you?

Them:    Good, how are you?

Me:    Good, how are you?

Me to Myself:  WalkawayNOW! WalkawayNOW! WalkawayNOW!!