Saturday, June 8, 2013

Hand Gestures, Statins, The Jetsons, Gym Water, etc.


·         I think there should be a hand gesture that would be universally understood to express a passive- aggressive “really?”  It’d serve as a sort of second tier “bird” for lesser offenses.  For example, when I’m driving my car and come to a stop at a four-way intersection, and a fellow motorist almost runs the stop sign, and locks his brakes up screeching to a stop at an opposite corner a few seconds after me, and then “waves me on” as though he’s being polite and doing me a favor, I wish I had a little signal I could flash in response.  The hand gesture that obviously comes to mind at that moment is probably a tad too much, and expresses road rage and anger more than the sarcastic message I wish to send.  It’d be fun to “flip him the pinky”;  I bet he’d spend the rest of the day thinking about that.

·         Though I’m not technically an expert in medicine or cooking or marketing, I think it’d be a great idea for a restaurant to promote a “Statin Omelet with Ham”.  I’m sure there’s an audience for it, and there’s probably a loophole for using “statin” in your menu descriptions without any verifiable proof, like there is for “all natural” and “healthy” and “kosher”.

·         The Jetsons was set in 2062, and, not to be a pessimist, but I think it’s unlikely that KEDs will be coming back into style for footwear 50 years from now.  Thanks to WHAM for making that comeback prematurely and ruining it for the rest of us and George.  It’s more reasonable to assume that we’ll see outdoor dog walking on treadmills become popular, and I’m surprised that we haven’t seen a successful meatloaf pill yet, but you can’t rush stuff like that.  Ok, I have two more important points to cover about The Jetsons.  Admit it, Scooby Doo was totally an Astro rip-off, although since Astro actually exists 80 years AFTER Scooby Doo, it could be argued that Astro was a rip-off of Scooby Doo.  I’m frankly surprised that Hanna-Barbera didn’t get more heat over this glaring and obvious comparison.  Still, there’s no winning this debate; let’s just agree to disagree.  Lastly, and even though I know that you’re “just cartoons”, Judy and Jane, call me.

·         Gym water must be the best tasting water, and people sure seem to be enthusiastic about drinking it.  I think gym water must also be the best kind to drink if you want to build huge muscles.  At the gym I go to, I see people drinking water after every set, I guess to top themselves off and compensate for the toll all the exertion of the workout is taking on their bodies.  Some really serious folks bring a gallon jug of water with them from home.  That seems a bit extreme to me, but probably they had bad experiences getting stranded in gyms with no water at some point, and they don’t want to take any chances.

·         I remember how much I used to be creeped-out that the video store kept a swipe of my credit card on file “just in case” there was ever a problem.  Now I kind of feel that way about routine DNA swabs and the monitoring of phone records.

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