Bad News, Scatman, Flying Bugs, etc.

·         I think if I ever had really bad news to deliver to someone, it’d be helpful to play a ukulele as I did it.  The bad news would probably still upset the person, but he or she would have to admit that the lilting music softened the experience.

·         I went back to the HR director a couple weeks after I was hired and admitted that “Ready” isn’t really my middle name; it’s William.  She smiled and said she already knew, which kind of freaked me out.

·         If you’re ahead of me in your car at the drive- through ATM, after you complete your transaction, please feel free to review your check register and adjust yourself for a bit before you pull ahead.  I don’t have to be anywhere.

·         I watched a woman arrive at a 4-way intersection today, texting with both hands as she drove.  Fortunately, she also had a dog in her lap, who I assume was steering, so that’s good.

·         I feel bad about it, but after Chico and the Man, Scatman Crothers’s career really tanked, except for a brief reprieve with Hong Kong Fooey and The Shining of course.  The scat audience has always been fickle.

 

                                              Bonus Summer Flying Bug Feature

·         I read a news report about Asian “Tiger” mosquitos that were brought into the US from China in standing water in a Texas tire shipment.  These mosquitos are said to be ferociously aggressive and recognizable by their striped “tiger” appearance.  From the description in the article, I bet that when you get stung by an Asian Tiger mosquito you hardly notice the difference until you try to swat it.  Then it’s probably like you’ve entered Thunderdome.  Oh, and the incurable Asian Sleeping Virus thing that follows, too; that must suck.

·         Every so often I’ll find a mosquito floating in the bottom of a burning citronella candle, and I figure he was the victim of a dangerous bug dare gone horribly wrong.

·         I try not to question God’s plan, but I bet at some point He had second thoughts about having created gnats and no-see-ums.  Speaking of which, I think if you saw the word gnat for the first time, and had no idea what it meant, you'd probably still have some kind of anxiety that a bunch of it would swarm your head and fly up your nose.  It’s probably the gn thing in the word gnat that makes it so awful, because I think gnomes are pretty icky, too.  Of course, even if gnomes swarmed your head, there’s no way they could fly up your nose, so it’s not really comparable.