·
The first few times I heard the expression “Mad
Skills” I thought the person was saying, “Math Skills”. “He sure has math skills”, or “I have math
skills”. Because the context of the
comment usually had nothing to do with math, I would be confused, but wouldn’t
question it, because I figured I was missing something. I’d just nod and smile, embarrassed. Now that I know the expression is “Mad Skills”
and not “Math Skills”, it all makes much more sense to me, and I heartily agree,
with knowing enthusiasm and unbound admiration.
·
The TV show Glee has moved into its desperate “Next
Generation” phase, like when Potsie and Fonzie became high school teachers and
when the Brady kids got married.
·
Now that the term “fiscal cliff” is being used so
much, it’s pretty funny to hear how many people, even smart ones, are saying “physical
cliff” instead. It’s also curious to me
that the error seems to be universally excused, like when people say “nuculer”.
·
I think it would be so strange to look out my
window see a big pile of bird seed in my front yard, with a sign next to it
that said “free bird seed”. There’s no way I’d go check it out, what with
all the anvil violence I’m hearing about.
·
At the mall the other day, a crowd of us
gathered, clapping and cheering as we watched a guy who was dancing Gangnam
style. Man, he was really good. Then suddenly somebody realized he was
actually just choking on a tater tot.
The clapping and cheering continued through the successful application
of the Heimlich maneuver (that Target Manager had mad skills) and then as the
paramedics took him away. It reminded me
of that time at a keg party in college when we watched the asthmatic kid do the
Worm.
·
I know that this is a controversial position,
but I think that coveting shouldn’t even be a thing. The problem with coveting is that if you
actively try to avoid it, you’ve already failed. I also think that anybody who admits to coveting
deserves what they get. If someone asks me
if I covet, I’d look them right in the eye and say “nope”, even if I was totally coveting at that very moment. No way am I falling for that trap.
·
Nobody wants to talk about this, but when it
comes to dealing with toddlers, there are Cheerios parents and there are Kix
parents. I think you can’t argue that Kix
parents are risk takers; why would you purposefully give a baby a snack that
rolls, not to mention that it’s exactly a little bit smaller than the size of
the kid’s nostrils? There is a subset of
Kix-oriented parents who just throw all caution to the wind and add cocoa puffs
to the mix. It’s just totally
irresponsible, if you ask me. Clearly,
the Cheerios folks are setting their kids up for success and lower cholesterol;
and even though Cheerios are round, they’re manageable. You’ve probably guessed that I have a
Cheerios bias. I just think that Kix
teaches babies bad lessons. I bet you
could do a study (I’d start with subjects in a prison or maybe on a cruise
ship) and determine differences in the adult outcomes in the personalities of
the children raised by these respective types.
Some parents probably mix Cheerios and Kix together, in a dangerous and
confusing game of pacification without rules. I say, make up your mind and
stick with your decision, create some boundaries. And don’t
even get me started on the Goldfish and Oyster cracker debate, or we’ll be here
all night.
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