Sunday, November 25, 2012

Things of that nature and Sounds from Thanksgiving


·        A lot of people say “and things of that nature” as a replacement for “and so on” or “and stuff” or “or whatever” at the end of sentences.  I think that adding “and things of that nature” makes the person sound smart and whatever the person is saying sound way more important and scientific than “and stuff” would.

·  Several times a week I mistakenly think that I’m really in my wheelhouse.  I look around, embarrassed, hoping nobody has noticed my error.

·  It was another  tense week, geopolitically speaking.  I don’t really understand some aspects of diplomacy.  For example, to me, scheduling a ceasefire is like two drunks in a bar fight agreeing that in twenty minutes they’ll stop punching each other in the face.

 

                                   Sounds from Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!  Something smells good!  Did you watch the parade?  It’s not the Macy’s Day parade; it’s the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade.  You always say it wrong.  I hope Beth brings the rutabaga.  Chase, stay out of the kitchen.  I brought rolls. The kids have their DVD to watch. The fire looks so pretty.  It looks real, who cares?  I brought a red one and a white one, I don’t know if they’re any good.  Yeah, they have handles, so what?  Jug wine, baby!  Ha ha ha.  You aren’t starving, go watch your movie.  Is Cubby coming? No, they aren’t the kind with corks, wise guy.  You like them?  Ha ha. They’re antlers!   There was a Rudolph nose too.  It’s somewhere, I don’t know.  Put me to work, what can I do?  She wanted to wear them because we got the Christmas stuff out so…Dakota, go watch the movie.  Great, you made those puff things?  Yum.  These are mine!  Ha ha ha. Yeah, she won’t wear them for long, she just wanted to show you.  YUM!  I have to get that recipe.  I thought Cubby was coming for dinner.  Sure, let’s open the red one.  It’s happy hour somewhere, right?  Ha ha ha!  These candles are crazy!  Does he have a new girlfriend?  Wow this wine is tangy!  Did you get them at Linda’s party?  Love them!  These glasses are beautiful;  are they from that set you won?  So fancy!  These puffs are so good.  Yeah, Miss Right Now, hahaha.  Kids, come have a couple puffs to hold you over.  No, we’re not getting drunk;  this is wine.  No you can’t have a taste, but you’d hate it.  I don’t  know, they’re puffs.  Thanksgiving puffs.  Just eat them and go watch your movie.  They were up so early this morning, I expected some meltdowns.  Hey, if she’s good to him, and as long as he’s happy, I guess.  Who are we to say?  I love the pilgrim and turkey candles, did they come as a set?  Just take two for now so you don’t ruin your appetite.  Don’t make that face.  Wow, this wine has some kick!  My ears are sweating, hahaha.  Do you want to use all of these onions?  So he’s coming over later?  You aren’t starving, you had cereal this morning.  The pilgrim is so cute.  So, is he bringing this girl?  Ok, so have nothing, go out of the kitchen.  I can’t stand the whining.  I have to stop eating this cheese, but it’s so good.  I’ll peel them, do you have an extra bowl?  I’m so glad you’re making them from scratch.  I hope Beth brings her rutabaga.  When are they coming?  If we use this one it’ll melt the turkey’s head!  Did you wash these?  Is Doug coming after work?  What were they thinking putting the wick on his head?  This wine is so good, oh my gosh! Why are you crying?  Chase, why is she crying?  Why are you crying?  Chase!  Sit here and help me with the potatoes.  Will you be sending a plate over to the Bentons?  They’re so cute, she always waves at me.  Why are you crying?  Ok, if you can’t tell me just go back in and watch your movie.  Aunt Beth and the twins will be here soon.  Yeah, she’s got to be like 90, but every winter she’s out there shoveling.  So cute.  No, she’s fine.  If she can’t tell me what’s wrong, it’s nothing very important.   I don’t see Mr. Benton out much, I guess he just lets her shovel.  They’re both cranky today, I’m not sure why.   Remember when Cubby would mow their lawn?  He’d just sit there and watch, like he couldn’t mow himself.  And that was like 20 years ago, and he seemed old then.  What are you doing out here?  Just ignore her;  she’s cranky.  It’ll be ready when the turkey is cooked, please go watch your movie and let us talk.  Who’s here?  Is it Uncle Cubby?  Go see.  I think Cubby’s here.  It’s Beth.  Go help Aunt Beth bring her stuff in.  You can both help her.  Hi Beth.  Why are they crying?  Why are you crying?  Chase, start the movie over for the twins.  Did you bring the rutabaga?  Sweet!  Is Doug coming after work?  You have to try this wine.  I know, the turkey smells amazing, right? Happy Thanksgiving! Mom made her puffs! Use the fancy glasses.  Happy Thanksgiving, you guys are getting so big!  Go watch the movie, kids.  Let the grown-ups talk.  This wine is awesome.

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