J. C. Penney, Col. Sanders, Secession, Oh Say Can You, Zombies Update, etc.

·         I kept hearing TV commercials talking about how “JCP” is having a big sales event.  I kept thinking, wow, that JCP, whatever it is, sounds great!  Then I finally realized that JCP is J.C. Penney.  I’m always interested when companies radically change their brands and marketing.  When Kentucky Fried Chicken changed to KFC, it really made sense.  The change not only shortened the time it takes us to say the company name, but it de-emphasized the “FRIED” cornerstone of the enterprise at a time when most people were moving to lighter, more “healthy” fare.  It’s funny to me, because I think the only people that the change appealed to were folks who would avoid fried food, which is fine, but if as a result they went to KFC looking for healthy food, they were still going to find fried food, right?  Maybe KFC was counting on those healthy eaters being embarrassed to realize the truth as they stood there already in line.  They’d probably buy the food anyway, so as to not create a scene, and then eat it in the car, in the dark.  Then they’d probably feel kind of dirty, but silently admit to themselves that the fried stuff tasted way better than the healthy food they’d been eating.  Now THAT was smart marketing.

I have a warm place in my heart for Kentucky Fried Chicken.  I think they invented the “SPORK”, which I’ve always considered a very ingeniously useful and practical utensil.  I’m kind of surprised that the spork didn’t fully catch on and revolutionize the way we eat generally.  And the old guy in the white suit; he was a cool Southern Colonel guy, and a little creepy, which is always a good quality in a corporate icon.

But I digress………

Anyway, my main point is that with this change, JCP is only saving exactly one syllable in the time it takes to pronounce their company name (versus three saved syllables for KFC), and is not hiding any fried products that I’m aware of.  There must be some really great marketing reason for this change in branding that isn’t apparent to me. 

·         Some people constantly use the phrase “Go ahead” in what seems like a subconscious way.  They say things like, “I’m going to go ahead and make a sandwich.” Or “Why don’t you go ahead and move ahead of me in this line.” Or “Mom, you should go ahead and take a nap.” I think probably in almost every conceivable instance, it’d be ok to just say what you’re going to say and leave the “go ahead” part out of it. 

 

·         For a myriad of reasons, as we go to press, each of the 50 states supposedly has an active petition movement in place, asking for secession from the Union.  Our Republic has some pretty significant and legitimate history related to secession, which I won’t go into here, except to say that one time when we dealt with it, the result cost us three quarters of a million American lives.  Suffice it to say, the concept of secession is serious and real. 

 

I think that a decision to secede should be the result of thoughtful and sober consideration.  You really have to think about what will happen the day after the secession.  No one wants to have one of those “oh crap” moments the day after making a decision of that magnitude. 

 

I sincerely hope that our leaders are taking notice of these grass root displays of discontent, and not discounting them as fringe-based and silly. 

Also, I think that if you pronounce the word “secede” as “succeed”, your signature on a petition should be void. 

·         Some local community somewhere has decided to eliminate the singing of the national anthem before its Hockey games.  The rationale is that “ice time” costs $300 an hour, and that the anthem wastes time.  I’ve heard some really bad and long versions of the national anthem, but I can’t remember ever thinking that they were adding an appreciable amount of time to the proceedings.  I bet the longest version ever lasted less than 3 minutes, and probably involved the singer repeating verses.  Not to sound all patriotic and stuff, but I think that this move to eliminate the national anthem before sporting events for the purpose of saving time is a bunch of crap.

 

·         So I know that Zombies aren’t real and everything, but there are definitely very diverse perceptions of what a Zombie apocalypse would be like.  Depending on what movie or TV show you watch, the Zombies can either be really sluggish and almost cartoonish in how easy it is to distract them and then cut off their heads, or they can be kind of smart and run really really fast.  The way I look at it, an apocalypse will be tough enough, and it will be much more convenient to contend with the sluggish cartoony Zombies than the running smart kind.   I’m not sure if there is a petition to sign for that preference.

      Also, I know I keep referencing Zombies, and even though I know they aren't real and everything, I just keep coming up with unresolved questions about them.  Also, I'm not sure if I need to use a capital Z when I spell "Zombies", but it just seems to be the polite thing, although I know they aren't real, and everything.