Testing the Waters

Greetings!

As I explained in my introduction, one of my "isms" is a short attention span.  I often think in bullet points.  Sometimes this blog will be presented in little blurps of thought that have bubbled up.  Here are some things on my mind today.

Random Rant

·         Blackout Car Window tint people:  I can’t see you when you wave me on at an intersection.  You darkened your windows so no one can see you;  did you forget?  Let’s just pay attention to the order we arrived at the intersection and follow the rules of the road, shall we?

·         What’s going on with “Walmart Steak”? Does it come from some strange Chinese cow?  If Walmart TV commercials didn’t promote (with a blind taste test, and shocked participants) how “Walmart Steak” tastes so great, I probably wouldn’t have been suspicious, but now there’s no way I’m buying it.

·         If you’re at the gym and can read a magazine while you’re working out, you probably ought to increase your intensity.

·         If you’re at a laundromat, and you put a kid in a washing machine and shut the door, and the washing machine starts its cycle, that’s not an accident.  If this incident is captured on hidden camera and goes viral on YouTube (look it up) and you’re a District Attorney in that jurisdiction who decides to not push for a child endangerment charge, you’re an idiot.

Grammar Rant

·         An apostrophe and a letter S (‘s) denotes possession (the boy’s dog) or a contraction of two words (it’s, as in “it is”). That’s it, either/or,  no more mystery.  If neither applies,  and the word just happens to end with an S, or the word is simply plural, just use a naked old S all by its lonesome. Use of the apostrophe generally does not make a word plural, but it’s easy to get confused with plural nouns  (“the two priests’ vestments were wrinkled.”, “the bunnies’ burrow was deep.”, “the women’s restroom toilet was backed up.”), so avoid writing sentences about priests, bunnies and women’s restrooms (and toilets).  If you follow these simple rules, a lot of you will reduce your use of ‘s A LOT.

·          You’re is a contraction of the words “you are”.  Your is a possessive adjective (“your grammar sucks”).  The two aren’t interchangeable.

·         Sometimes it’s grammatically correct to use the word “me”.  Just saying, you don’t sound smarter because you always use the word “I” instead of “me”.