Zombie 5Ks, Hotness, Cool Smoking Behaviors, Rock Bands, etc.

·         I know that Zombies don’t really exist and everything, but if they did, I think it would be cool to have a couple of real Zombies mixed in at those Zombie 5K races.  When you just have real live people dressed up as Zombies, the runners probably hardly really worry at all about being bitten and becoming, you know, undead.  I bet once you start using real Zombies, you couldn’t compare Zombie 5K race times, which I bet will be much faster, with non-Zombie 5k race times.  Also, survival of the fittest would filter out folks who really weren’t in shape to be running their first 5Ks.  Even a stupid Zombie would be looking for people using inhalers and puking  at about the half-way mark.  All this said, the notion would never actually work, because the real Zombies would probably be confused and also go after spectators and fake Zombies by mistake.  This confusion factor, in my opinion, is why most plans incorporating Zombies fail.

·         So this guy the other day asked me, "hot enough for you?" and I said, "yes, it's actually a bit too hot", and he just sort of smiled at me. I thought that was kind of strange, but it's good that they have people checking.

·         I know that relationships require work, but I think that if you ever fell in love with a mermaid, the romantic cool factor would wear off pretty quickly.  After that, it would be really hard to not focus on the troublesome nature of her fish parts, and having to keep her wet all the time, and the sand that would just be everywhere, and, oh my God, the freaking BRINE. 

·         Exciting New “The Ross Rant” Feature, same low price

Too Soon?  Corner:

Gee, I hope Glee doesn’t start to suck now.

 

·         Cigarette smoking seems to be a lot less popular now than it used to be, but I wonder why people who still smoke have stopped rolling packs up in their tee shirt sleeves and tucking cigarettes behind their ears.  Those seemed to me to be fashionable, practical and reasonable behaviors relating to smoking, and ones that should be encouraged in those who continue the habit.

·         The Rolling Stones are still going strong, selling out concerts and in huge demand.  There’s no denying that Mick Jagger in particular is defying age and performing at a rocking level that is comparable to his best, even after 50 years.  The songs from the 60s and 70s sound as sexy and fresh and naughty and relevant and exciting as ever as the band performs them today.   I do wonder, though, if people in the audiences ever consider that the women who were the subjects of the songs back then were in their 20s.  Is the 70 year old 2013 Mick still singing to 20 year olds?  If so, EWWWWW.  Or maybe now he’s singing all lascivious to 68 year old women.  If so, EWWWWWW.

On a similar topic, there are bands that are known for using their music to protest or advance the issues that are relevant today.  I wonder, assuming that a band like U-2 will still be going strong in ten years like the Stones have done, if they will be addressing subjects that will be relevant to them and all of us, then.  Somehow, I doubt that we’ll hear Bono singing songs like “Medicare, Part-B” or “Estate Taxes”.

·         And lastly, when I was 18 years old I really liked Billy Joel’s song “Piano Man”, and would sing along whenever it was played on radio or on a bar juke box.  The music and lyrics were great, and it made us kids feel superior to think that there were loser old folks who never quite got their acts together, and sat around feeling sorry for themselves, drinking too much.  I still like the song when I hear it now 30+ years later, but, and maybe it’s just the “real estate novelist” in me, now I think that Billy Joel was being a bit judgmental and critical and offensive when he wrote that song.