Toilet Seats, White House Tours, Robots, etc.

·         They say that “71 is the new 30”.  So I guess it follows that if you multiply any age by .42 you come up with your “new” age.  That calculation makes me 21 and a half, which is cool, because I’m still old enough to drink. Phew.

·         There’s a new Kohler TV commercial that shows a self-closing toilet seat.  I assume that it was designed by a female engineer who finally accepted that the “ultimate mass education of all men and boys initiative” has been a huge failure.  I wonder if Kohler is now working on a self-replacing toilet paper roll.

·         Because of the sequestration, the White house has suspended tours, and a bunch of school kids are really upset because their field trips were cancelled.  The tours were self-guided, but I guess someone has to be paid to oversee the operation, and suspending the tours saves the costs of those salaries and security.  I wonder if the signs announcing the suspension, that they probably posted on the windows of the White House, or maybe on a fancy easel at the front door, were created by the three White House calligraphers.  Three calligraphers, in 2013, seems to be a bit excessive, but to be fair, I think one of them specializes in italic Cambria sans serif font, which is probably really hard to do with a quill on parchment paper, you know.   

·         I saw one of those personal injury lawyer ads on TV that told you who to call if you’ve had bad robotic surgery.  I haven’t heard much about this problem, but I think you should be upset if robots operate on you even if they’re successful.

 

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Arbitrary Policy Change Proposals Based on Packaging, Aesthetics and Emotion Rather Than Function, And Without Measurable Benefits: 

·         Proposed NYC Soda Ban:  You can buy and drink 12 ounce cups of sugary soda all day long, but if you order a 32 ounce big gulp, that’s excessive and unhealthy. 

·         TSA:  They are thinking about allowing pocket knives and baseball bats back on airlines.  It’ll be ok now though, they say, because the cockpits are fortified.  Box cutters will still be prohibited, because they’re, well, you know. 

·         Gun Control:  Semi-automatic rifles are BAD and dangerous and unnecessary and must be banned!  The Vice-President, who was assigned to head a gun violence solutions task force after the tragic Newtown, CT shooting, recommends that if you want to deal with an intruder, you should recklessly fire two blasts from your double barrel 12 gauge shotgun off your balcony.