Calculus, DOMA, Smoke Signals, Holiday Eggs, etc.

·         Apparently, the new favorite word used to describe and defend ones thought process or reasoning is “calculus”.  I think it’s because for most of us, calculus is a totally foreign thing that sounds like it must be really hard and important and complicated.  To make a point of view sound more robust, sometimes a person will declare his or her calculus to be “common sense”.  That way, you can’t disagree, or you’ll be arguing against common sense.  Anyway, I think a lot of people’s common sense calculus is quite often still just bullshit.

·         I predict that Jim Carrey is one French Legion of Honor award away from being his generation’s Jerry Lewis.  The transition from edgy comic boy genius to angry, self-righteous and irrelevant unfunny old guy is always an interesting crash-and-burn to watch.  

·         At first I thought I was hearing people referring to the  “Defensive Marriage Act”.  That seemed about right.  How insecure do you have to feel about something you do, to be afraid that if someone else does it, even with a variation, it will in any way diminish your thing? 

·         I think a lot of people in the US watch what’s happening in Cyprus like it’s a fantasy horror movie.  I mean, come on, “Cyprus” even sounds mythical.  Man, we’ve really got this collective arrogant judgmental denial thing down, don’t we?

·         I know this is a controversial subject, and I don’t want to offend anyone, but whether you call them Easter eggs or Holiday eggs, they’re all mostly not really from rabbits.

·         This month marked the second failure in a decade by the Vatican Fire Department to get the Sacred College of Cardinals to use an air horn instead of the white or black smoke traditionally used to signify the status of the Pope selection process. The fire department has unsuccessfully suggested that it would be preferable to toot the horn once to signify that the Cardinals were “still thinking about it..”, and use two toots and a long blast to signify “we picked a Pope!”.   According to a Vatican Fire Department spokesperson,  their suggestion for a change is based on the fact that smoke is also sometimes recognized as a signal that, you know, the Vatican is on fire.

·         The way things are going, I think at some point all of us will have to just accept that Justin Bieber is a badass.