Zombees, Corn Riots, mmmBacon, I'm Unstuck in Time, etc.

 

 

·         “Zombie” honeybees have been discovered in the Pacific Northwest.  These bees have some sort of parasite that slowly eats their brains, causing the bees to act strangely.  Apiologists (bee scientists) have observed the bees building hives with no exits, and experiencing slurred buzzing, periodic forgetfulness, agitation, premature pollination, and occasional insomnia.  

 

·         Apparently there’s a Bacon shortage predicted for 2013.  I’m hearing the story on the news just before this post goes to the publisher, but if I had more time I’d write something super funny about cholesterol and how smart and cute pigs are and opine amusingly about Arnold, the one that was on Green Acres (he went to school!), and share a cheeky and clever observation about how pork is one of those words that sounds dirty but isn’t and how it’s the “other white meat” and then end with a jocular riff about how everyone just loves the deliciousness of  bacon even though it’s SO bad for you. 

Oh well, if the shortage happens and lasts long enough,  maybe I’ll write about it next year.

 

·         Speaking of which, sort of, what’s with the rising  cost of food?  I know, it’s all about this year’s droughts and the resulting corn blight.  But how can the cost of everything increase 25 percent and not cause riots?  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to stir up the “Great American Corn Riots of 2012” or anything, but if food prices stayed the same and instead everyone’s paycheck was suddenly 25 percent short this week, I bet there’d be some ornery and self evident spontaneous demonstrations in the streets.  Same difference, folks.

 

·         Call me crazy, but I think that after I go to bed at night, spiders rappel from the ceiling and spend the wee hours silently moving my furniture a fraction of an inch.  In the morning, I swear I hear them snicker as I spill coffee, absent-mindedly setting the cup where the table used to be.

 

·         I don’t know about you, but I can’t get enough of those Hilarious fake texting auto correct fails………..

 

Hi Hon, what’s for dinner tonight?

                        I want a divorce.

?????

                        I meant, Chicken.  grrr auto correct!

 

 

What’s up?

                        My friends hate you.

What??

                        I meant nothing!  stupid auto correct!

 

 

Hey, Giants this weekend at my place.

                        Yeah, ok douche bag.

LOL, what?

                        I meant yeah ok Daryl.  I hate auto correct!

 

 

·         I’m sure I’ll have some “haters” over this, but my time machine appears to be a success.  So far, except for last Sunday, it’s returned me each morning to what I now sarcastically refer to as “the present.”