If I Had My Way, Island Justice, Solvency Solution, etc.

My birthday’s this week.  Birthdays usually make me pause for introspection and self-assessment.

 

·       If I could be any kind of animal, I’d be a bird; one with hands.  Or maybe a flying monkey, but not the little creepy and fake Wizard of Oz kind. 

I think I’d probably be a flying gorilla. 

One minute I’d be sitting there just staring at you, eating leaves or a banana, from behind a little spindly sapling that totally didn’t hide me.

And then, Gone! 

“Hey, wasn’t there a gorilla here just a second ago?” 

“Yeah, but he flew away.”

It seems like a flying gorilla would make a great super hero, if he harnessed his powers for good, and wore tights.

·       If I was a tree, I’d want to be a coconut tree.  It’s like being a “giving tree”, but you can really wreak havoc.  I’d drop some coconuts  and just wait.  Soon, some villagers would no doubt notice the coconuts on the ground and take them home.  I’d keep dropping a bunch of coconuts each day, and word of this quarry would spread amongst the villagers.  Free Coconuts!  And so it would go, every day.  I’d bide my time like this, maybe for weeks or months.  Patience, patience.  Stealth.  They’d never suspect a thing;  no one ever thinks they’re being observed or baited by a tree. 

Eventually I’d notice which one of the villagers was a real jerk, and then one day, when he was gathering coconuts from the ground, feeling entitled, full of cocky self-assuredness and oblivious, I’d really let one fly.  Clunk.  

The other villagers, seeing what happened to the jerk and now driven by fear and ignorance, would probably then decide that I was a sacred tree or even make me their King or something.

Plus, I like a tropical climate.  Well, except for the humidity.  And the centipedes.

·       Actually, I would prefer it if the four seasons were Late Summer, Early Fall, Autumn, and Late Spring.

 

·       If I could only have one possession, I’d make it an infinite cash resource.  <wink> 

I know, I know, but hey, we didn’t agree to rules for this game.