Managing Your People (chapter 2)

In business, I think it’s important to set the tone early in the day.  For example, each morning you should greet your staff with a hearty (and if possible, maniacal,) “Good Morning!”, accompanied by an aggressive “air quotes” gesture.

How Do You Say It?

Probably no one has figured out how to translate the language of squirrels, so I can't prove this, but I bet they have at least 31 different ways to say "nuts".

What It Means

As a semi professional sociologist and linguist, I feel confident to state that the meaning of the expression, “oh, balls” (or a variation thereof)  is dependent upon the gender of the person making the comment.

Sitting on The Hill

It’d probably be a horrible idea if you and several friends gathered this evening and sat on blankets on a random but highly visible hill near a thoroughfare but nowhere near an actual fireworks venue and then waited for a bunch of other people to show up thinking this must be a great view for fireworks and then you just waited until there were several hundred people sitting on the hill and then, around dusk, you and your friends just packed up your stuff and left.  I hope nobody does this, but if you do, cheers and you’re welcome.  By the way, this will probably also be a horrible idea tomorrow.

Tis the Season?

Scrolling through Spectrum Cable’s tv listings for tonight, June 28^th, and finding Elf, Home Alone and a couple other Christmas movies.  I assume that it’s a Spectrum joke or error, but for a moment I wondered if my own “Billy Pilgrim is unstuck in time…” nightmare had finally come true.

My Next Challenge

I’m thinking about canceling my Everest climb after watching all the recent news.  I feel that my travel agent underplayed the “certain death guaranteed, or deposit returned” part of the contract.   He said, “nah, just wear cleats”. 

A Light In The Dark

When I was a kid, I always had a nightlight on when I was sleeping at home.  If I ever slept over at someone else’s house and asked for a nightlight, I’d be mocked by adults and children alike who assumed that I feared werewolves or other monsters that troll the darkness.  In truth, my concern always was waking disoriented from my typically violent dreams in a state of defensive readiness.  A nightlight sped up my reorientation with the comparative peacefulness of the real world. 

To this day, if I wake without proper muted lighting and then can’t find my glasses, I’m apt to punch a wall or knock over a bedside table. 

On a related note, I am still single.