When We Have An Idea

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Idée Fixe

(noun) 

Definition : an idea that dominates one's mind especially for a prolonged period : obsession

Before You Apologize

If you’re ever in a conversation and  hear yourself apologizing for not having received a voicemail or text, take a moment and consider what a bullshit notion that is.

In The End, It's All In the Name

It’d probably be hard to prove, but I bet that a stellar marketing team at the company that makes the butt cream RectiCare had some contentious arguments and ultimately passed on several contenders before they enthusiastically got behind the perfect product name.

To Leave or Stay

I saw a report on the news tonight that a significant percentage of Facebook subscribers are leaving the platform because of the site’s encroachment on personal information.  The story told us that Facebook users have had it with the site’s use of algorithms designed to segment users by demographics for the purpose of marketing and tracking political affiliation and using that data to control content available to users.  The thought of that kind of social media manipulation is outrageous and unacceptable.  But I have a theory, and I know that it is probably controversial and perhaps not even considered by Facebook.  I think that maybe, and I know this sounds crazy, some people announce that they’re “leaving” Facebook with the intent of determining who amongst their friends will react with strong emotion, imploring them to stay or conversely, fully supporting their decision to “leave” as justifiable. To take this theory (bear with me) to another extreme level, some of these folks may actually then “hover” after “leaving” Facebook to keep track of what’s going on in their “absence”, with the absolute plan to eventually return to the platform in due time.  I think the decision to stay or leave is an individual’s right.  But I would ask someone about to make that kind of profound and completely reversable and totally inconsequential choice, “won’t you miss the cat videos?”

When It Starts With the Beeping

That moment when one of your apartment’s 20-year-old combination smoke and carbon dioxide detectors starts randomly beeping and you aren’t cooking and have no candles burning or anything.  And then you manage to take it down off the wall and shake it and whatever, but it keeps on with the freaking beeping so loud and you take the batteries out and put them back in and it’s still beeping so freaking loud and so you take them out again and look for replacements, which totally aren’t where you thought they were, but you find them eventually in a bag under your bed.  And then you put the replacements in and it starts again with the  freaking beeping so loud and you start to plead with the detector, asking it what the hell it wants, and of course they never answer you and so you take the new batteries out and say ok I just can’t do this right now, I’ll deal with you tomorrow, and you hope there’s no gas leak or anything but what the hell can you do so you put the empty detector on the dresser and watch The Godfather and just hope for the best.

Holding Hands with My Old Man

When I was 16, my dad and I were on our way to meet my mom at a photographer’s studio downtown to pose for our only professional family portrait ever.  Walking from a nearby parking lot, he and I waited in our uncomfortable suits to cross at an intersection near the studio, and as the light changed, my dad grabbed my hand.  In that instant I was shocked and embarrassed that he had done it and confused especially because as he was so rarely demonstrative of his affections to me, but we walked across the busy intersection, my hand in his.  I never really thought much about that experience again until a few years later, after my dad passed away suddenly.  As I reconciled with conflicted emotions his leaving me so early, the memory of the embarrassing moment at the intersection that day reminded and comforted me that his instinct was to protect me.

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