My Next Challenge

I’m thinking about canceling my Everest climb after watching all the recent news.  I feel that my travel agent underplayed the “certain death guaranteed, or deposit returned” part of the contract.   He said, “nah, just wear cleats”. 

A Light In The Dark

When I was a kid, I always had a nightlight on when I was sleeping at home.  If I ever slept over at someone else’s house and asked for a nightlight, I’d be mocked by adults and children alike who assumed that I feared werewolves or other monsters that troll the darkness.  In truth, my concern always was waking disoriented from my typically violent dreams in a state of defensive readiness.  A nightlight sped up my reorientation with the comparative peacefulness of the real world. 

To this day, if I wake without proper muted lighting and then can’t find my glasses, I’m apt to punch a wall or knock over a bedside table. 

On a related note, I am still single.

Pangs

Me: “Is it ‘hunger pangs’ or
‘hunger pains’?”

Them: “What are you talking about?”

Me to myself: “Mankind is doomed.”